I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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