he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
