the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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