guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
