She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
