we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
