whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize