Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
