I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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