I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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