It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
