when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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