dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
