My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
