Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
