She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
