I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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