Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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