At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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