Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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