i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize