Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
