You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
