The best revenge is premature balding
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
