didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
