Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
