guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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