I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You made out with two different species that night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
