I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
