my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
