Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize