its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
