worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
