Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
