so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
