I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
