yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
