I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She bit a glass in half.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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