I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
