but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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