He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
