Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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