I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
