is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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