This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
