Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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