well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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