doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
