Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
