I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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