She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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