There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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