i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
