I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
