Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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