I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
