I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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