Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
