Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
